Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Bachelorette: 9 Burning Questions that Demand an Answer

After viewing this week’s installment of “The Bachelorette,” I (Stephen) left with nine questions that need answers.

I have no good answers for the following, but they demand consideration regardless:

9: Juan Pablo has a daughter?! How did we miss this?!?

8: Why did Brooks call Desiree an unicorn? There are no words. I am flabbergasted.

7: Does Hootie get work for the Blowfish in his new country gig? I’d like to think so. (As a side note, I loved his cameo in Jerry Maguire)

6: Why did Chris choose the high-heels for his talent in the Mr. America competition? He either is exceptionally confident in his masculinity, or he wanted to go the “ham-it-up-as-much-as-possible” route (which worked for most of them, btw), or he was going for both.

But heels? I attribute this to the one minor-mis-hap that happens to every normal guy. He got over it. He got a rose at the end. It all worked out.

5: What was Mikey T. talking about during his Mr. America competition answer?

I point to the reactions of the other guys on this one: while Mikey T. tried to talk about how sensitive men are on the inside, all of the guys backstage were incredulous. I agree.

Men can be sensitive . . . when we have to . . . I guess. But c’mon.

(as an aside, I agree with Chris on Mikey T’s subsequent talent portion: “Fairly meathead-ish behavior.” Poor Mikey T. shooting himself in the foot.)

4: Why did Desiree ask Brad to climb 4,000 stairs to the top of a lighthouse before promptly asking him to leave, making him walk down 4,000 stairs?

Nothing like thinking about rejection while walking down thirty-seven stories. Alone.

3: Kasey won the Mr. America competition, so why didn’t he win the rose that night?

I have done more work for less glory than winning a title and a sash. . . but shouldn’t the winner of this one get the rose?

2: Why didn’t the group date take place at Manny and Jan’s house?

Instead of one strapping-American man standing around and looking glum . . .

there could have been eleven men (all of whom probably work out) easily equipped with hand tools and put to work repairing part of their house.

(Mikey T. is even a plumbing contractor—perfect!)

(Additionally, it was very special to give Manny and Jan an evening together. I’m glad it happened. It also would have been very special to match the money it took to hire a limo, rent out a ballroom, and bring in Hootie and use those funds to continue relief work on their house.) Would it have made a huge dent in the work needed? Probably not. Would it have been hugely appreciated? Absolutely.

1: How did Bryden NOT get any time with Desiree during the group-date cocktail party?

These parties last for HOURS. There were ten men on the date. It shouldn’t be hard to make time for all of them—ten minutes each would clock you under two hours. (See my other post regarding a sign-up sheet).

It’s possible Desiree let time slip away, but she should’ve picked Bryden as her first conversation in the pre-rose ceremony party. Bryden also should have sought her out and talked to her about his feelings—as the she is the second most important person he could have talked to regarding his emotions . . .

. . . the most important? Chris Harrison.

The man has mediated more televised relationship disputes than Jerry Springer or Judge Judy. (Not combined, though, they probably have him beat there.) Harrison always knows how the Bachelor/Bachelorette feels on a given day. He has a gift.

See my other recaps:
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3

Rachel’s top three: still Drew, Bryden, and Chris. I don’t know why Drew never gets any screen time with Desiree, but I’m hopeful. On Abc.com, I just watched a clip they didn’t air where Drew & Desiree share a great kiss! Bryden is obviously having his doubts, so he may not last much longer. And I have a feeling Desiree will keep Chris for a while.


  1. hahaha this is so great!! I love it all. and seriously, WHAT is up with Juan Pablo having a daughter?! We both just looked at each other and were like "wait, WHAAAAT??" well, that is, after we got over laughing so hard at his scarf get-up.


  2. Yes!! I so thought that about the light house. And how much better would it have been for all the men to work on that house...seriously. That part was so anti-climatic :)

  3. What is Brydens deal?? I really liked him, but now I am having doubts. What is up with all the Dad's this season too?! Great post, as usual :) Where do you find these fantastic pictures?

  4. I didn't even think about the lighthouse thing, having to walk down 4,000 stairs rejected must have really sucked.. Way to pour a little salt in the wound!

  5. Ha! I laughed out loud at some of these! I agree about the stairs, I wrote about that one too!

  6. great post! you have such a lovely blog!

  7. I agree, all of those guys could have easily spent some time working on that couples' house!


Thank you so much for your comments! I enjoy reading each one!


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