Monday, April 18, 2011

must get out.

here is me last Wednesday!  as much as there is a definite bump, I've been told on the street, "You can't even tell!"  and the kids that I teach don't notice.  (which is incredible, because this baby is supposedly 7 inches long, and nearing 1 pound!)

We were just listening to an old Maroon5 song called "Must Get Out" that I used to listen to in high school.  One line of the chorus is, "This city's made us crazy, and we must get out."  As I was mouthing the words, Steve says to me, "Is this your theme song?"  Today, at 34 degrees with a mix of snow and rain, I answered "Yes!"  Aside from our actual apartment, I feel no strings pulling me to stay here.  No one is going to cry when we leave.  I will be sad to say goodbye to these four walls that we've made our home for the past two years.  Steve and I have spent so much time together in this apartment!  But I know that our next place is going to become even more special, as it's where we'll bring home our first baby. 

I am excited for Easter: to celebrate Jesus' resurrection, relax with my mom, get my hair cut for the first time since last July, hear Steve sing in church, play with my 9-month-old niece Natalie whom I haven't seen since Christmas, make layered Jello, and unofficially start looking for a new home, in a new town.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

week nineteen

This morning, it is finally sunny outside, with a high of 57!  After a week of 30-some degrees again, I am craving some nicer weather so that I can go out and walk comfortably.  We even had snow flurries more than once this week!  When Steve gets home from his Saturday morning class, we'll head to my mom's house for the day (a 2.5 hour trip).  We are going to an all-church birthday party this evening, for all the months of the year.  Both of our moms are praying that more than 5-10 people show up after all of the work they put into it.  My mom writes the Facebook updates for our church daily, and I think that is a great form of advertising, so we'll see what happens.

Steve and I are noticing that I'm growing a bit more this week.  I can still hide my stomach, but if I put on a tight shirt, it definitely looks like I've gained the 8 pounds all in my middle.  I am slowly on the lookout for a new-ish maternity wardrobe, although I still think it'll be a while before I outgrow everything I own.  Baby continues to kick quite a bit, including right now.  On the days that I work, baby doesn't seem to move at all.  I think all of the kids must sound really scary, or my stress level gets high and the baby gets nervous or something.  Last night we got another delicious pizza (I finally found a good pizza place here at the end of our time in this city), and a little while after I ate it, the baby was really dancing in there!

I am trying to be the best version of myself, to really knock out all of the negative feelings that I have, and to watch my words before I say them, but at least once a day, I still embarrass myself or get disappointed in how I have managed my time and my energy.  I am such a work in progress!  And as much as I would like to rewind 2 years back to college and change some things, or rewind 6 years back to high school and make some different decisions, I think that is life.  In 2 years, I'll probably want to redo what I am doing now.  Right now I just have to do the best that I can. :)

Steve just texted me to say that he is the "Outstanding Grad Student" in the English department this year!  Yay!


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