throwback to Easter 1990

I want to share three of my very favorite pictures.

This first photo is my dad, Bruce, with my sister, Hannah (age 6) and me (age 2.5). We’re in our backyard in Chicago on a beautiful Easter morning. We lost my dad about a year later, and Hannah passed away at 17, making these Daddy & daughter photos very rare, and extremely special.


We headed over to my grandparents’ house in Portage, Indiana for dinner and the annual Easter egg hunt. My grandparents would hide numbered eggs—you could only find one egg of each number—so that all of us would get the same amount of eggs, with similar prizes inside.
My grandma liked to line up the six cousins into age order for a photo—we are all about a year apart!
Kara (8), Zac (turning 7), Hannah (6), Lindsay (5), Dayna (turning 4), and me (almost 3).

We had a studio photo taken as well!

Kara owns a clothing shop in Brooklyn, New York.
Zac is married and lives in Indianapolis.
His sister Dayna is married with two little kids in Houston.
And Lindsay (bottom right) is married, lives in Illinois, and just had her first baby in January. Her Tristan is five days older than my Ephraim! :)

I can’t wait for the next time we can be together, since it’s very few and far-between.
 
Linking up with Jessica for Throwback Thursday!

resurrection eggs

I pulled these Resurrection eggs out of a box in my mom’s garage a few weeks ago. My sister, Hannah, put this set together—making it extra meaningful to me.  It also means the saltine cracker below is at least 14 years old. Still looking good, no? ;)

Feel free to use this idea for your children, grandchildren, Sunday School class—as a teaching tool for the stories of Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

All you need is an empty egg carton, a dozen plastic eggs, and 11 little items to put in them (most of which you can find around the house).

1. A cracker to represent bread at the Last Supper.

Matthew 26:26: “While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, ‘Take and eat; this is my body.’”

 

2. A dime to represent the 30 pieces of silver that Judas received to betray Jesus.

Matthew 26:14-15: “Then one of the Twelve—the one called Judas Iscariot—went to the chief priests and asked, ‘What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?’ So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver.”



3. A piece of rope to represent the soldiers whipping Jesus.

Mark 15:15: “Wanting to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas to them. He had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified.”



4.  A piece of purple cloth to represent the purple robe put on Jesus to mock him as “King of the Jews”.

Mark 15:17: “They put a purple robe on him, then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on him.”



5. A cross to represent Jesus carrying his cross, our cross.

John 19:17-18: “Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull . . . There they crucified him, and with him two others—one on each side and Jesus in the middle.”

 

6. A nail to represent that Jesus’ hands and feet were nailed to the cross.

John 20:25: “So the other disciples told him, ‘We have seen the Lord!’ But he said to them, ‘Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.’”



7. A dice to represent the soldiers casting lots for Jesus’ clothes.

Matthew 27:35: “When they had crucified him, they divided up his clothes by casting lots.”



8. A piece of sponge to represent the sponge used to give Jesus a drink of vinegar.

Matthew 27:48: “Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge. He filled it with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink.”



9. A toothpick (with one edge cut off) to represent the spear that pierced Jesus’ side.

John 19:34: “Instead, one of the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water.”



10. A piece of gauze or white fabric to represent the linens that they wrapped Jesus’ body with to bury him.

Matthew 27:59: “Joseph took the body, wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, and placed it in his own new tomb that he had cut out of the rock.”



11. A rock to represent the stone rolled in front of the tomb.

Matthew 27:66: “So they went and made the tomb secure by putting a seal on the stone and posting the guard.”

12. And an empty egg to represent the empty tomb on Easter morning!

Matthew 28:6: “He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.”

on what-would-be my sister’s 30th

Today is my sister Hannah’s 30th birthday. Though we lost her 13 years ago, I will celebrate regardless. I was sort of hoping to have a baby on her birthday, but he came a little early for that :) How my heart misses her!

I was reading Ann Voskamp’s bestselling book, One Thousand Gifts, and this quote rose off the page:

“I remember her silken hair. I still don’t know why He took her. I don’t know why her children don’t run free on spring days with mine, laugh with my sister’s . . . though I cry, this I know: God is always good, and I am always loved, and eucharisteo has made me my truest self, ‘full of grace.’”

 

“You may suffer loss but in Me is anything ever lost, really? Isn’t everything that belongs to Christ also yours? Loved ones lost still belong in Him—then aren’t they still yours?” –Ann Voskamp

 
I have no idea what life would be like today if she were still here, but I can be sure she would have loved her little nephews!

june 19

I’ve been thinking about my dad today. He has been gone 22 years, and I think I will stop counting this year—that’s just too many. June is my favorite month because it’s full of summer, anniversaries, weddings, vacations, family. And this sadder day always slips in among the happy ones.

Here are a few of my favorite photos of him.

my Uncle Brian, my Uncle Paul, and my dad—with the contagious smile.

I’ve always loved this one.

My mom and dad were married 35 years ago on June 10th in Portage, Indiana. He was 20, and she was 21. I’m including the bridesmaid photo, because I just love that smile.

a few years later

me, my dad, and my sister Hannah in our Chicago backyard

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.”  Psalm 73:26

a summer to die

My favorite book, A Summer to Die, was written by Lois Lowry (author of The Giver & Number the Stars).  If it hadn’t have been published in 1977, a decade before I was born, I would think she wrote it about me.

The novel is about a 13-year-old girl, Meg.
Meg is reserved, artistic, and in a self-conscious stage of adolescence.
She has a love/hate sisterly relationship with her beautiful, extraverted older sister, Molly.
Meg’s life turns upside-down when Molly discovers that she has leukemia, and passes away after only a few months.

Meg is left to continue her life without Molly: accepting the loss, valuing the memories, and realizing the impact that her sister will always have on her life.

And through this experience, Meg is really able to find her identity, discover what she loves about life, and finally see the beauty in herself.

Meg=Rachel.

Lois Lowry wrote this book as fiction, but it was inspired by the relationship between herself and her sister, Helen, who passed away from cancer.

Lois Lowry writes on her website, “Like Meg in that book, I would go on to miss my sister, after she died young, for the rest of my life.”

Hannah and me

Hannah at 16.

Hannah passed away twelve years ago today, February 11, 2001.

I will miss my big sister for the rest of my life.
And I will continue to live my life well enough for the both of us.

happy birthday Hannah

Today is my sister Hannah’s would-be 29th birthday.

She turned 17 on her last birthday here on earth.

Hannah was completely beautiful.

She was intelligent. Creative. A perfectionist. Determined. Sassy. Kind-hearted. Funny.

Those of you closest to me know that she treated me quite poorly sometimes. Sisters fight. And I was healthy, when she was not. I forgive her for that.

Sometimes I like to envision that in Heaven, God has those big black binoculars on a pole, and our family members can look down on us and see how we are doing. And I imagine that they wouldn’t see any of our sad moments, because there is no sadness in Heaven, but they would just see a glimpse of us in our happiest times. I like to think that she knows that I found my way out of adolescence, did well in high school, had some amazing college years. I hope she knows that I got married, and that she has an adorable nephew.

I suppose a more theological approach would be to say that when we are reunited with our loves in Heaven, it will only seem like minutes since they last saw us. I can’t wait for that day.

I am grateful for every one of her seventeen years. But I wish there were more. Her life has shaped every facet of my life, from my personality to my faith, my life goals, and my priorities. There is not a day that I don’t think about her and miss her deeply.

If you knew her, I hope that you will think about her today, the times that you had, and what you learned from her life.

If you didn’t know her, I am glad that her circle of influence has now reached you. And I hope that you have learned more about me by seeing my big sister.













I celebrate her birthday every year by making a cake, and sharing her story.




Happy birthday, Hannah!  You would be a gorgeous 29.

Hannah's memorial dedication

After my beautiful, newly-17-year-old sister passed away from a horrible childhood cancer in 2001, half of her memorial money was given to her high school in Chicago.  The art teacher decided to design four mosaic benches to honor her memory.  The benches were finished within a year or two, but every time we contacted the high school, they told us that the benches weren't quite ready.  We did not forget about them, but eleven years later, the school contacted us because they wanted to install the benches and have an official dedication of them.  September 14th was chosen as the day, and friends and family showed up to remember Hannah and be a part of a beautiful tribute to her.  

 

Here were the benches, just before they were assembled.

 

 And now, all put together:

 

 

We had a good crowd of about 60 family members and friends.

 

My mother wrote lovely words to speak about Hannah. 

 

The current principal spoke as well.  Unfortunately, this dedication happened to be planned the very week that Chicago public teachers went on strike.  The art teacher who designed the benches was unable to come (almost all of Hannah's former teachers did not come).  But the principal read words that the art teacher had wanted to say herself, explaining the meaning behind each of the four benches.

 

Hand of support ;)

  Though it is a public school, we asked if it would be okay for my Uncle John to say a prayer, thanking God for Hannah, and for these new benches in the community.

Refreshments afterwards.

So grateful for all who came!

Three of my sister's gorgeous best friends. 

 Then Nolan stole the photographer's attention for a while.  This photo is with Great-Grandpa.

 

This visit was Nolan's first trip to Chicago, and the first time he laid eyes on my hometown and Aunt Hannah's hometown.   He will grow up to hear many stories about his vibrant aunt.

Nolan Bruce with Daddy and cousin Nathan Bruce.

 

My guys.

 

My mom and me.

 And then with my two aunts (Mom's sisters) Lori and Sally.

It was a very significant day in my life, and I hope that Hannah's benches receive many, many visitors, for years to come!