Thursday, April 3, 2014

the marriage challenge

Steve and I found “The Marriage Challenge” through blogland, and we decided to participate two weeks ago. We haven’t quite made it through all 10 questions yet, but we have really had a blast spending time in conversation and learning some new little bits about each other. If you’re married, give it a try with your spouse!

Here it is:

Assignment: Spend an hour or so going over your nightly "Top 10".  No matter how much you think you know about each other, this process is enlightening/shocking/humbling all in one.  The way to go about this is to set a time (which could be "after the kids go to bed") and discuss your answers for an hour or so.  You can either write your answers down right before you meet or throughout the day.  But they have to be written down before the scheduled time. 

Day 1- What are your Top 10 favorite characteristics about one another? Why? (wife writes 10 for her husband. And the husband will write 10 for his wife)

Day 2- What are your Top 10 favorite characteristics about yourself? Why? (Wife writes about herself. Husband writes about himself)

Day 3- Where are 10 places you have never been to but would love to go? Why? (again, these are individual lists.  You each write your own)

Day 4- What are 10 of your biggest pet peeves? Why? (in general, not necessarily with one another)

Day 5- What are your 10 things you hope your kids learn from you? Why?

Day 6- If you won $100k tomorrow... what 10 things would you buy yourself? Why? (you cannot save it or spend it on anyone else. You MUST spend it all on yourself)

Day 7- What are 10 things that you would like to improve on personally? Why?

Day 8-  If you could invite 10 people to dinner, alive or dead, who would they be? Why?

Day 9- What are 10 things that your spouse can do for you, or does for you, that you really value/appreciate? 

Day 10- ***Do this one over a date-night dinner***  What 10 things do y'all want to accomplish in the next year? Do this list together and once you are done talking about it and putting the list together, put it in an envelope and store it.  Then make a point to open it in a year!


My favorite question to answer (and hear Steve’s answer) was #3—ten places you would love to go that you’ve never been. Even though we’ve talked about ideal destinations before, we’ve never listed them out this way. I love dreaming about going to these places with Steve someday. I’ll share what we put down:

Steve: (in no particular order)
1. London
3. Smithsonian museums
4. Hobbiton, New Zealand
5. Jerusalem
6. Colorado Rockies & Grand Canyon
7. Norm Abram’s New Yankee Workshop
8. the Vatican
9. Normandy Beach, France
10. Disney World

Rachel: (in no particular order)
1. California
2. the Carribbean
3. Italy
4. Sweden
5. Texas
6. Alaska
7. Hawaii
8. South Dakota
9. Spain
10. Denmark

I loved how much more specific Steve’s list was than mine!

I wished I could have a top 10 list for places in the U.S. AND a top 10 list for the world. :)

After discussing our answers, we also decided that we would love to become history buffs and visit as many historical sites and presidents’ homes as possible :)

(us in Gettysburg in 2010)

If you decide to do this, I would love to hear how it goes for you!
Comment or shoot me an e-mail, racheljulia31{at}gmail{dot}com


  1. This is a great idea! I am going to see if my Steve will do this with me. Was it easy to make and discuss one entire list per day? It seems like for a couple of the topics, it could be difficult to come up with all ten items in a day. Thanks for sharing this!

  2. Jim and I are planning on doing this but we both decided we need to send each other the prompt in the morning and then discuss it in the evening. Trouble is, we keep forgetting to email each other! woops! We'll do it soon.

    Great lists :) I love stuff like this.

  3. this is such a great idea :-)

  4. This is a great idea Rachel! Thanks for sharing :) I know Mic and I have discussed some of these before, but it sounds fun to write it all down!

  5. I love this!!! What a great thing to do! I would really have to reflect on some of these questions! I don't often really stop and think about "what do I like/what do I want to do." I have never been a person to have a favorite this or that like so many people do.

  6. Ooo, I love this idea. Hope my husband plays along like yours did! :)

  7. Very neat! I read these to Steve as I was read them ! He was like ummm... I printed it lol :) Maybe we will try :) Thanks for being real girly ! love the pic flash back too
    Blessings from Amanda @


Thank you so much for your comments! I enjoy reading each one!


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